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Bear, Drax & My Fucked-Up Arm

I love my Bear more than (almost) everything else in the universe and I’ve never wanted him to change, but by God he can drive me to the verge of insanity sometimes.! He went grocery shopping this morning, very quickly, before a political meeting he had to be at by 11am. He had a list that went aisle by aisle, so that he didn’t have to backtrack. Yet he still forgets the bread. He was in the bread aisle, saw there was bread on the list, didn’t pick any up.! Similar with the Ibuprofen. I was awake most of last night in pain and we have no Ibuprofen left as I used the last one yesterday for the whacking headache I woke up with. Bear says to remind him to get some today, so I put it on the list, in capital letters, with an exclamation mark… he knows this means this is life-threateningly important.

He decided not to get any because they were only 200mg tabs and he was looking for something stronger. Bear in mind this is a Dutch supermarket which does not usually sell painkillers. They’ve only recently started selling things like Nurofen and Ibuprofen and Aspirin, and only in the lowest doses available. Usually, you’d have to go to the chemist’s or Apothecary’s as it’s called over here. So there’s no chance at all of finding anything stronger than low dose Ibuprofen in the stores. Still, Bear decides he wants something stronger for my pain and doesn’t bother to buy any Ibuprofen. When I explain that I could have taken three or four 200mg tabs and been pain free, does he then think that through, decide it was a good idea and then realise that he didn’t get any.! smh

Drax, is very much like his human Daddy, in that he doesn’t bother to think things through before doing them. Yesterday evening he decided his dinner time was at 6.30pm, when in fact it’s at 8pm. To inform me of this fact he decides to communicate as loudly as possible, as frequently as breathe allows and barks at me for a good 40 seconds non-stop. When I asked what his problem was, he jumps off the sofa, goes to the kitchen and rattles his food bowl. I then informed him it was only half past six and dinner was at eight, so he’d have to wait. Not content to wait and having his human Daddy’s level of patience he decides to bark even louder. An argument ensues…

“Bark, bark, bark, bark.!”…
“No.! It’s too early.”…
“Bark, bark, bark.!”…
“I said No.! Dinner’s at eight, like it is every day.”…
“Bark, bark, bark.!”…
“It’s six thirty Drax, look.!” *shows oven’s digital readout to dog*
“Bark, Bark.!”…
*shrugs* “I know, but I didn’t make the rule, Daddy did, see him.!”…
“Bark, bark, bark.!”…
“I don’t care, I’m not taking responsibility for your early dinner, you remember what happened last time.?!”

(I ONCE allowed the dog to have an early dinner, he was hungry again just as Bear got home from work so ate again, just a little… and threw the whole lot up at 3am.! Never happening again, Bear was so pissed at having to clean up kibble puke at 3.10am, when he was half asleep.)

“Bark, bark, bark.!”…
*gets phone* “Okay, I’ll ask Daddy.!”…
Dog whines in that ‘teenager back-talking’ kind of tone and slopes off to his crate.
“I thought not.!”

Even in the crate, he barks at me, mouthing back and I ignored him, only to be pounced on and nipped on the back of my upper arm. At which point he went back in the crate with the door shut to calm the fuck down, and so I can check if he drew blood. He’s getting really big and is very strong for a 14 week old puppy. I can no longer lift him up, he’s just too heavy. Which leads me to the walkies we went on 45 minutes after dinner, during which he pulled and pulled and pulled. I stopped God knows how many times to make him stop, and told him to ‘heel’ and ‘walk nicely’, but to no avail. As soon as I started walking again, he took off like a rocket.

The problem was the lead was wrapped around my right hand, to give him as little an amount of leeway as possible, so he had to walk next to me because he had no more lead to play with. It didn’t matter, he pulled the entire time we were out and I spent last evening and all last night in agonising pain with muscle pain in my hand, lower arm and elbow, which throbbed and was impossible to sleep with. I tried numerous positions trying to ease the pain, but it wasn’t happening… hence the need for a strong painkiller this morning.! FML

It now means that I won’t be taking pup out for a walk today because I’m incapable of doing pretty much everything. I barely managed to make dinner for Bear to take to work and housework is a no-no. Typing.? I’m doing it left-handed and one-fingered while resting my right arm on a small cushion. 😦

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

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