If he doesn’t get his ass in gear and get the painting at least started before the end of next week, he’ll find I’ll have it finished by the time he gets home from work on day one.! I am not fucking around with this.
He tried to ring me to let me know what had happened but my phone battery was dead. It usually is because I never use my phone. No-one rings me and no-one texts, so I have no use for the thing beyond Bear ringing me once in a blue moon. He sent me a Messenger message, but of course I didn’t get it for ages because I wasn’t on my laptop.
The New Year began with a loud bang on the sofa in the front room, Bear and I having no qualms about our neighbours listening in on our sex life.
…throwing himself onto the footstool, which carries him to the sofa where he screeches to a halt before he ends up doing a Garfield on the window, barking like crazy, whining and whimpering…
Stupidly, my first thought upon waking this morning was ‘I need to clean the windows’. Stupid because it’s chucking it down outside and blowing a howling gale and window washing would be a particularly pointless exercise.
Far worse than that is that for the past almost year he’s had a hernia and didn’t tell anyone, so it’s become twisted around his bowel and pretty much stopped it working, sealing the lower half of his colon so that it filled up and filled up and then burst, poisoning him with his own waste.
Why on earth would he want to pee on the potty pad when he can wait five minutes until he’s back in the car and pee all over me.?! Which he did, spectacularly.
So when I got a knock on the door and handed a package addressed to me, I was somewhat taken aback. I hadn’t ordered anything and Bear hadn’t said anything about expecting a package.
We ordered in Chinese for dinner last night for him, as it’s his favourite and Bear played Monopoly with them until the boy child said he was just too tired to continue.
Instead he took to running excitedly around our legs, still attached to his harness and lead, barking madly, like there was a cat in the field, demanding more treats. Which of course he did not get.