Barred!, DIY Excuses & Chewable Dog Toys

The boy child is now barred from the kitchen when I’m in it after an incident that could have caused severe injuries, to me mostly. Being the intelligent lad that he is, he thought it would be a clever idea to sit cross-legged on the kitchen floor behind me, while I’m stood at the stove cooking dinner. We were both very lucky that I looked before I took a step towards the sink with a heavy saucepan full of boiling water and pasta, or we’d both have ended up in A&E. As it was, I quite incredulously asked him if he had to sit there while I was cooking.? To which he responded that he did because he was playing ball with the dog.! Bear looked at him in much the same way I was and told him to get out of the kitchen. He’s 15, he may not make 16 at the rate he’s going. He was then told to stay out of the kitchen if I was in it, regardless of what I was doing, as he’s a hazard to my health.

Bear and I went to the DIY store today to look for a connector for our garden hose, so we can empty the pool without washing out the fruit garden. I also wanted to look at paint for the bedrooms I want to get a start on re-doing next week and bathroom tiles, so we can make a start on getting the repairs we’ve needed since it was finished 9 years ago, organised. Trying to get Bear to do anything is like trying to get blood out of a stone, so trying to get him to look at paint when he’s not even bothering to think about the re-painting until next week, after the kids go back to their mother is just next to impossible. Bathroom tiles too.! “We’ll come back next week to have a look.” Why do we need to come back next week to have a look when we’re both here now.?! What he’s hoping is that he can come back to have a look next week but not actually have to do anything… boy, is he ever going to be shocked.

If he doesn’t get his ass in gear and get the painting at least started before the end of next week, he’ll find I’ll have it finished by the time he gets home from work on day one.! I am not fucking around with this. It’s taken me nine years to get him to even consider moving out of this hellhole and now the mortgage advisor and a few local estate agents have also told him now’s a good time to make the move, he’s damned well going to make it.! We’ve hated this neighbourhood since three days after we moved in, so I’m not hanging around any longer than I absolutely have to.

After we left the DIY store, we went to our local Pets Place, to get the dog a squeaky toy. He used to have one when he was a young pup but he ate it and we didn’t replace it because he seemed to prefer his cheesy bone. This morning the old lady next door had visitors who had a young puppy with them. They were squeaking a toy for it and driving our dog nuts.! So Bear decided he should again have one of his own. We have to buy Kong toys because our little fur baby is a major chewer and he’ll eat his way through anything not made from industrial strength rubber in a few minutes. We eventually found a cool toy for him. It’s a huge red Kong Jumbler, it has handles on both sides so you can play tug with it, it squeaks and it has a tennis ball inside to keep him interested and best of all it can’t be chewed through.! Awesome.

We also got him an Orka Flyer, it’s basically a frisbee which, once he learns how to play with it, he’ll love. He’s always racing around, jumping up to catch his ball, so a frisbee should prove to be more fun.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

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CLEMENS P. SUTER

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