A Bear In The Bathroom, The Bacterial Infection & I Want That House

You learn something new every day and the past two weeks has taught me that Bear doing DIY is a bad idea. A VERY bad idea. Bear is not the DIY type and his attempts to repair the shower as cheaply, quickly and as hands-off as possible are really starting to piss me off.! He finally pulled the shower basin out after nine years of it leaking down into the downstairs toilet to find two supports still standing, half a breezeblock and two full cans worth of expanding foam, under which were the other two supports.

Nine years ago a ‘professional builder’ was paid a small fortune to install that shower. 😠

So Bear began by chipping the foam out to see what was under it. Once the foam was removed we discovered the breezeblock was balanced on top of the water pipes. The only support worth a damn for the shower that four people had been using for nine years was balanced on the water pipes that are about the only things holding the downstairs toilet ceiling up. The concrete floor under the shower is as thin as the water pipes embedded in it and crumbling. So Bear decided to build a support for the new shower basin by placing three house bricks at each corner and two at the corner with the plughole and then placing a piece of fibreboard on them with a brace of four supports in the centre, leaving the water pipes accessible.

Once that problem was solved, he set about carefully chipping out the concrete to lower the u-bend and plug for the shower so it fit better underneath the basin. Since then he’s been desperately trying not to continue the job. He’s gone no further and we’ve been washing our hair and doing full body washes at the kitchen sink. The children came for the weekend and had to forego showering until they got back home. And today marks two weeks since he started and the shower basin is still in the back bedroom, waiting to be re-installed. I knew I should have done the job myself.

Adding to the bathroom woes, I caught a stomach bug somehow and have been spending a lot of my days on the toilet. I have no idea what I got it from as I have eaten and drank the same thing as Bear and he’s fine and I haven’t been around anyone else. I’m starting to suspect the dog who loves to jump all over me for kisses and cuddles. He’s gotten very affectionate lately and it’s really irritating. I don’t mind cuddles, but when he forces his way onto me and starts lunging to lick my face it’s a bit much. He’s caught me a few times on my teeth and gums, so it’s likely I got a bug from him.

In the process of finding a way out of this house, I went through the websites of a few local estate agents and found THE house. MY house. The PERFECT house for us. A big, characterful house built in 1906, with an extension that houses a garage and a conservatory, with a garden that is half terraced and 12 metres by 10 metres.! There are four big bedrooms, two bathrooms, a huge loft space and a large basement. I’m completely in love with this house and have already told Bear I want it. It’s been on the market for 18 months because it’s on a main road, although from what I can tell, it’s not all that busy, not that it matters as the living space is all in the back. I’m taking a wander over there tomorrow to see what it’s like around that area during the day.

Bear says not to get my hopes up as we may not be able to afford it, but I think it’s a little too late for that.! I have to wait for the realtors to come and see around our house and value it, so we can see how much more we’ll get for it than we paid and how much we can then afford to pay for another. I’m keeping fingers crossed that we’ll get a decent price, despite my bathroom doubts.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

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