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Wannabe Rambo, Awesome Dog Chews & Proper English Cream Tea

Awesome Dog Chew

The natural aroma oil didn’t work. The smell faded by the following morning, so doggo took his chance to have a chew on my house shoes and got a nasty taste of lemon oil… which also duly faded by the time he decided to have another crack at them a couple of hours later. So much for that idea.! Bear decided to go with the water pistol solution, something he seems to be enjoying just a little too much. So far he’s only soaked pup twice with his Super Soaker and pup has indeed learned to keep a safe distance away from the fence post, he’s a bright little fella really.

I refused to allow it to be used in the house, much to Bear’s consternation, and suggested a spray bottle, like you have for misting plants. Far preferable to my mind than Mr. wannabe Rambo and his gleeful dispensing of watery deterrent all over my living room.! I think he’s a bit miffed that pup learnt the second time. 😀 The spray bottle seems to be an effective deterrent. I only had to mist pup’s face four times before he learnt that the spray bottle was to be avoided. Now I only have to show it to him for him to stop doing whatever offending activity he’s currently engaged in.

Having spent the entire morning and most of the afternoon being an absolute angel yesterday (the pup), Bear came home from grocery shopping with probably the most awesome dog chews ever.! Certainly in pup’s opinion. Real rolled beef skin with layers of chicken wrapped around it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a happier puppy than the little doggo with this bloody huge bone-like chew between his teeth, trotting off to his comfy bed on the patio to eat it… it took him a good hour to eat the chicken and two more to finish chewing all the goodness out of the beef skin and leaving it in a gooey mess for me to deal with. Thanks buddy…

Once he was done Bear took him for a walk where he met other dogs, other people and was treated and fussed over and generally tired out. He’s happily snoozing under the dining table right now… bliss.! I’ve managed to get his bedding and some of his toys washed and dried, so he’s all set for bedtime tonight. I’ve decided to try him with a blanket covering his crate, so he’s not overwhelmed by light and outside noise in the morning when it gets light at 4am and the damn birds start screaming and shouting all across the neighbourhood.

He’s a very easily excitable puppy but not so easily subdued, so giving him a darker, less stimulating place to rest and calm down when he needs a time-out might be beneficial to him. Obviously the front of the crate isn’t covered, just the top and the left side of the crate that’s open to the dining area and kitchen. His crate is positioned against the wall and the side of the sofa, so the back and right side are already covered. We’ll see how he likes it. If he doesn’t, I’ll remove it and try again in a few weeks.

Yesterday, I decided to try the English scones recipe I found online again. I made some scones with that recipe three days ago, but did it by hand and did them plain, instead of with fruit. They were hard, chewy and not very appetising. Yesterday’s were much better. I made the dough in the food processor and added sultanas. They rose beautifully and were soft, crumbly and really good with strawberry jam. The only issue I have with foreign recipes for English scones is the insistence that you add cream first, then jam when serving and you dust them with powdered sugar. NO.!!!

I’m all for experimentation when it comes to food, but DO NOT go telling people how the English traditionally eat their scones when you are not English.! NEVER have we EVER dusted our scones with powdered sugar. NEVER.! Not only am I English, I am Cornish and it deeply offends me when people change English traditions to suit themselves and make out that they know what they’re on about, when clearly they don’t.! It is pronounced SCOWN, not SCON. Northerners call them scons and the recipe is not the same as the proper Cornish recipe.

When you have a proper English Cream Tea, you slice the scone in half, you add a teaspoon of STRAWBERRY jam first, and then a heaped teaspoon of clotted cream and then you put the top half gently back on top of the cream. You eat them with your fingers… not like some genteel old lady who uses a dessert fork or a spoon. FINGERS people. If you’re going to do it, do it RIGHT.! You don’t have to add the fruit to the recipe if you don’t want to, plain scones are also correct. Adding cream first and then jam will get you stared at (or glared at) in every proper English tearoom and snubbed like the barbarian you are.

I have even known a Japanese couple be asked to leave a Tearoom in Swanage, Dorset back in the early 90’s for adding butter and then raspberry jam to their scones. True story. The staff were absolutely horrified at the carnage to their Cream Tea and asked them to leave their establishment immediately upon finishing their afternoon tea. You might think that was a bit harsh, but we English take our Cream- and High Tea’s VERY seriously. You never put milk in Earl Grey, and you never add milk or sugar to your teacup before you pour the tea.

Obviously these days the barbarianism has taken over and people are doing whatever the hell they like with their tea and scones, being all rebellious and shit and thinking they’re cool or hip, or some such nonsense, but down south, where people still care about the proper traditions of their nation and the etiquette and elegance of their Cream and High Tea’s, you can still find an Olde English Tearoom that does it right and insists on it being done right, but shamefully they’re hard to find.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

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