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Time Outs, Human Treats & Crap Clearing

So far pup has managed to go five to five and a half hours at night before needing a toilet break. I’m getting a lot more sleep and am finally starting to feel a bit more human. The house has gone to shit though, as the more I try to clean up, the more mess gets made. Bear and pup play in the garden a lot and neither has the consideration to wipe their feet. Pup decides every now and again that his potty pad is offensive so pees and poops on the floor… it’s the cleanest part of the floor at this point.

Everything has either teeth marks or claw marks in it, including me and I’ve taken to giving pup a time out when he gets over-excited and bitey. He still has his baby teeth and they’re razor sharp and the little git has a thing for bare skin. So when he gets too much I give him a chewy toy and put him in his crate for a minute or two, or for however long it takes for him to calm down, usually no longer than four minutes. Obviously he gets told he’s a good boy when he comes out and gets a treat and he’ll happily go and play with a stick or chase his squeaky bear.

His favourite treat is banana, he can smell it from the bottom of the patio and comes running to get some. He makes sure to smell my hands and check the banana is all gone before he’ll go find something else to do. Bear tried him with a tiny piece of Minneola, which he likes to toy with before eating but he’s not sure about the sharp taste. Yesterday we took him to meet The Mommy, who we haven’t seen in five weeks. It was her 74th birthday. We kept the correct distance and made sure to take hygiene wipes to wipe down the plates, cups and cutlery we touched.

They were so pleased to see us and to meet the pup, who was more than happy with all the attention he got. He’s been really good the past few days, spending a couple of hours at a time in his crate while Bear and I sorted out the crap we’ve hoarded down in the cellar over the past seven years…well, in Bear’s case hoarded for the past 18 years… and just taken from house to house and dumped in storage. Finally he’s getting rid of stuff instead of deciding he can sell it. How he can seriously think someone is going to pay good money for his ancient crap is beyond me. It’s well past vintage and bordering on antique, and not in a good way. Thirty year old Ikea furniture is not a thing.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

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