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To Go Or Not To Go, That Is The Question

It’s looking very much like we won’t be going to the UK for my sister’s Wedding this weekend. This weekend was supposed to be a kid weekend, but because we were booked and ready to go to the UK, Bear’s brother said he’d have the children for the weekend, but has now said that he may not be able to, because his partner works in childcare in a hospital, and none of us have any idea how healthy Bear’s kids are, and she doesn’t want to risk getting the Coronavirus and passing it on to the children she works with, unawares.

We don’t have a plan B for the children, and it’s only a matter of time before the Dutch government impose a travel ban. And if they do it after we’ve left the country, we may not be able to get back in, which leaves us in the lurch, stranded in the UK with no idea how long it will be until we can get home again. So far, the Dutch precautionary notices are valid until April 6th. So that may be the earliest we can get back if we are stranded. It’s all too much risk for the sake of a Wedding.

Bear’s getting stressed now, just as I’m calmer and more focused on the issue, and I know it’s up to me to cancel it. It just makes me feel even less a member of my own family than I already did. I’ve always been the black sheep, because I’ve always been the one to rebel against parental control, I ran away from home, I got married at 19 and invited my birth mother to my wedding, so my father and stepmother refused to attend. I distanced myself from my family, and then I moved away to Northern Ireland, then Germany, now the Netherlands.

I’m the estranged daughter because I don’t forgive or forget as easily as everyone else, and I don’t accept the BS excuses everyone else does for treating people like shit, and I don’t respect my parents just because they’re my parents. They’ve done some seriously vicious, abusive things in the past and unlike my siblings, I won’t just brush it under the carpet and pretend it’s all in the past. So I doubt very much if anyone will miss me or even give a shit if I turn up or not. It’ll just be me being me again.


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