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Predatory Monopoly: Observe, Target and Destroy

We played our first game of Stranger Things Monopoly this afternoon… Bear won, as I knew he would, despite his protestations to the contrary, with it being a game of chance… all of them are seriously competitive, while I’m not. The girl child was second, she plays strategically and buys the most expensive properties and puts buildings on them as soon as she has the full set. Bear does the same, but with more thought… he’ll buy the most expensive properties if he can, but if not, he’ll buy up the next expensive properties and trade for ones he doesn’t have.

The boy child tries to play strategically, but he’s messy and doesn’t pay attention and gets pissed off and overly competitive when he’s not keeping up with his sister or father and he talks complete bollocks constantly. The teens get mouthy and nasty when competing with each other and when one gets something the other wanted, they’re mean and smarmy and smug as fuck, winding each other up. They miss things and make mistakes. The boy child cries when he loses. Bear and the girl child hate losing and will sulk, while I don’t care one way or the other. I play the game to play it, to enjoy the highs and lows and the general sparring, whether I win or lose is irrelevant.

Bear and I are observant and while he plays the game openly, he gets sulky and huffy when things aren’t going the way he thinks they should, like when he wants to trade for a property, but the person who has the property he wants doesn’t want to trade it or when the girl child trades for property to get a set and Bear feels she’s going to beat him. He feels anyone not playing the game his way is not playing the game properly, so are holding him back. I’m a predatory player. The first time, I’ll observe my opponents and how they play.

I’ll play like a beginner, like I did today, hesitant, uncertain, watching how each one of them acts and reacts, noting their strengths and weaknesses. I’ll play it safe and make my opponent think I’m not very strategic while I quietly buy up all the mid-expense properties and place buildings on every one of them. I’m savage in trade. If the deal’s good for me, I’ll trade, regardless of the financial worth involved. Next time we play I’ll be better able to strategize, knowing who’ll be easily swayed and who won’t.

I won’t bid in auctions unless I really want something, being forced to pay too high a price for a property that won’t pay dividends isn’t worth it. The boy child would be an easy target but not a great adversary, he’s too emotional to enjoy beating. The girl child would however, make a great adversary. No point taking on Bear, his sulking and huffiness is just not worth it to beat him. I’d have to live with that shit for a good week… no thanks…

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

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