Stupid Neighbours and Sick Kids

Today started with a screaming row at 7.15am and a headache. I had the headache, the neighbours had the screaming row, which is why I had the headache. What the hell they had to fight about at 7.15am is a mystery, but it went on for a while, before one of them stormed out the house, slamming the front door.

A couple hours later they were at it again. Most people would realise there was a major issue in their relationship after screaming at each other constantly for seven years, on an almost daily basis. If he’s not screaming at her, she’s screaming at the kids, usually the older one, who screams back just as loud. Me thinks there are one too many alpha females in that house.

Thank God for my calm, laid back, mostly drama-free relationship. Even the kids talk about their issues instead of creating hell and acting out like petulant toddlers. Talking of the kids, their mother informed Bear that they have been off school sick all week, the youngest only going in to school today. Bear’s picking them up around 4pm this afternoon, so I’m going to make sure we have enough lemon and honey and Paracetamol at the ready.

Thankfully, since July I haven’t been ill, although I seem to be developing a bit of a cough this last week or so. No sniffles, bugs or viruses, which for me is a big thing, usually I get everything going around and spend weeks on end ill with something, only to get it again as soon as I’ve recovered. That hasn’t been the case the past six months. I’m thinking it’s the new vegetarian diet, all those vitamins and proteins boosting my immune system. God knows it needs it.

Sick kids means a very quiet weekend, the fortnightly visit to Bear’s Mom won’t go ahead this weekend, as she’s had heart issues over the past year and had to have stents put in. The least amount of strain on her health, the better. The elder child’s Volleyball match won’t be happening either… not that I’m bothered about that, it involves Bear driving an hour and 20 minutes each way and sitting around for 2 hours while they warm up, play the match and get showered and refreshed afterwards.

After two weeks of mostly early shifts and some very late nights, he could do with the rest.

Music & Minecraft

Finally, a decent night’s sleep.. although I woke up with hip and back pain, as the quilt is so heavy on my feet when it hangs over the end of the bed. Leaving Bear to sleep on, I crept downstairs and started doing food prep. for the pasties I’m doing for dinner. Bear is out at 12pm for a political meeting, and then back for a little while before going off again at 2.40pm for work. He finishes at 11pm.

Having done the housework yesterday, there’s little to do until tomorrow when the kids are coming for the weekend. Well, I say weekend… they’re being picked up around 4pm, so will be here from 5.15pm until 8.30am Sunday when they go back because they have Musical Practice at school at 11am. Not sure what they’re performing this year, they haven’t yet said.

Right now I have Foo Fighters and Tool playing on Spotify, I love music, especially rock of all kinds, with the occasional rave and acid house track. I don’t mind Rap and HipHop, but it’s been a case of ‘growing on me’ over time rather than a personal liking for it. I can rock to the Foo’s anytime.! 🙂

Today I’m sure I shall mostly be playing Minecraft, once Bear is at work. There’s just the one load of laundry to do and that’s pretty much it for chores today, so the rest of the day is mine. I like Minecraft because I can choose which mode to play in, easy, peaceful or survival, the latter of which means fighting monsters and spiders and building up a game score.

The middle mode means no monsters or spiders, and I can design and build whatever takes my fancy, which strangely happens to be medieval towers… maybe I have a subconscious Rapunzel fixation… weird. Meanwhile, on to pastry making, so I’m not stressing to get things done in time.

A Late Start and Fish Chowder

Today started late, with me going back to sleep after Bear got up for college. I finally surfaced around 10.15am, with no inclination to do anything, so just grabbed my robe and made my way downstairs to see what food there was. I’m supposed to be making fish chowder today, but even the thought is making me feel nauseous.

Having burnt the toast (I like it that way) I finally managed to vacuum downstairs, not really difficult with an open plan kitchen/diner/family room, just extend the vacuum pole fully and stand in the middle of the room. Easy. So at least I did something productive today. Still have to do upstairs, but it can wait until I’m in the mood, and I’ve just noticed the kitchen floor needs a good scrub… ugh.!

UPDATE: Bear came home an hour and a half earlier than normal, bringing kibbeling with him. Best start to a day in ages. I finally managed to get my butt in gear around 2pm and with Bear’s help changed the bed, vacuumed upstairs and finally got on with making chowder. So it’s been a fairly productive day, even though I started late. 🙂

Perfectly Normal Behaviour

Bear informs me that looking through people’s Facebook profiles is perfectly normal behaviour and that he does it all the time. Apparently he also goes through men’s profiles too, but as I’ve not seen that happen (and had I, the conversation would have been very different, had there even been a need for it in the first place) in the five months I’ve been observing him, I can’t say either way. I don’t go through people’s profiles and upon asking friends, have been informed they don’t either.

The profiles he goes through are people in the same Facebook ‘geek’ group as him, whose comments and photos interest him enough to check their profiles and photos for more interesting stuff. Innocent enough to my mind, except for the regularity of the profile checking, which he explained is because since he joined the group last March, he’s only been active on there for the past 5 months after an influx of Comic Convention photos of Marvel cosplayers back in the Summer.

Why he didn’t say that on Saturday night, instead of getting all defensive and looking guilty as sin as he told me he had no excuse for his behaviour, and then pretending like nothing had been said and dropping it like it wasn’t deserving of his attention, knowing that would piss me off even more and I’d really start to get suspicious is beyond me. He might be highly intelligent, but sometimes he’s completely clueless.

After 24 hours of him avoiding the issue and carrying on as normal, I blew.! Waiting until he got home I confronted him about it, asking if there was anything I had to be concerned about with his online behaviour.? He said there absolutely was not, and that he thought we’d sorted it all out on Saturday… When I explained that 5 months observing him checking out other women was not something you just sorted with flat out denial and avoidance of the issue, he realised that his behaviour had been somewhat concerning, and his reaction to my asking him about it, even more so.

Hence an apology, a hug and an agreement that next time I observed him doing something odd and asked him about it, a full explanation and reassurance that he wasn’t doing anything I needed to be concerned about would be forthcoming, rather than flat out denial.

Checking Out Women On Facebook

It’s taken five months of watching Bear checking out women’s Facebook profiles for me to finally lose my shit.! Three times in one week is excessive, and while I don’t think he’s up to anything shady, his behaviour is a cause for concern. At first I thought nothing of it, she could well have been someone he knew, a work colleague, fellow college student, or political body, or a friend of a friend who’d made a witty comment on something, I know he likes to check out the humorous ones for more humorous content he might be able to use elsewhere.

After 3 months I started leaning more towards the WTF is he up to.? path of thinking. Every time I caught a glimpse of his ipad or iphone screen, there was a woman’s photo, or a whole batch of the same woman’s face in lots of photos with others, so he obviously was checking through her photos and information… but why.? There wasn’t a trend to it, the women were all different, mostly white, but an occasional ethnic woman would pop up, and he’d scroll through the posts, check out the photos and go back up to the profile photo.

He’s not the stalker type, and he’s not one to engage people in conversation first… so why is he checking out women. Did we have a problem he didn’t want to talk to me about.? We certainly had a problem, but how was I supposed to approach it without sounding accusatory or making him feel guilty for something that could well be innocent. He does have a track record for doing dumb shit that he thinks is acceptable though, even while in a relationship, eg. chatting to his ex-, loving her photos, making twee comments on her posts; putting his phone in his pocket when it beeps, and disappearing off to the toilet; maintaining the joint Facebook account he had with his ex-, and allowing her to have copies of photos I took of him.!

Yeah, he can on occasion be as dumb as a post, and a lot less communicative. Come Saturday night, having seen him checking out a redhead, after witnessing him checking out a dark haired woman on Wednesday, and a blonde the week before, I had a bit of a moment. “Why do I keep seeing you checking out women’s profiles on Facebook.?” I ask. And there it is… the stunned look that then is followed by an innocent look, and absolute denial… I’m an old hat at this, my kids used to pull the same BS when they’d done something they knew was sketchy…

“I’m not. Why would you think that.? Where has this come from.?”

Oh man…..

This is NOT a fashion blog

Don’t you just hate it when assumptions are made and conclusions jumped to.? Even WordPress is doing it… “Oh, you wrote the word WEAR in your blog title, so we’ll assume you want to blog about fashion and put that in the domain name.!” Dumbasses. This is NOT a fashion blog. It’s a daily ramble, rant, mindless-muttering, brainless wittering on kind of blog, with pithy sarcasm and the occasional giggle… I have zero interest in fashion. I wear whatever is to hand and comfy… regardless of colour or how it looks… I wear men’s clothes occasionally, and none at all most of the time during April-September.


Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist

A Family History in Letters

Letters from the women in my family to their mothers from 1910-1980.

What I found

The art of losing

The Belfast Belter

The Life and Times of a retired Soldier, Boxer, Pilot, Husband, Father and Grandfather

Reading Between The Lies

tales of untruths

Shine My Way

My memoir. Where I cuss a lot.


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