I’m changing doctors. Mine is WAY too perky for 10am on a Monday and way too sadistic. Finally went to see him after a year of my shoulder getting steadily worse and the first thing he says is “Let’s give you an injection.” How did I know this would be his first port of call.? It’s ALWAYS his first port of call. He has a thing for sticking needles in me. He knows I hate the things. That’s why he does it. Bloody sadist.
“Lets see if you can do this.” He says, raising his arms at his sides to above his head. Yeah, let’s not.! I can’t do that, not with either arm and certainly not with the one he’s about to shove a ten foot javelin in. Okay maybe not a javelin, but a REALLY big needle. Okay, maybe not REALLY big, but big enough for me to not like the idea, never mind the event. You’re enjoying this just a little too much aren’t you.?
The sadistic git is grinning from ear to ear and skips off merrily whistling… WHISTLING… 😮 to get the necessary hardware to poke damned holes in me. I knew I should have just suffered until my arm shrivelled up and fell off. Much easier than witnessing the pure joy on this guy’s face. Then Bear chimes in “Pretty soon, I’ll be able to give you injections.!” Oh HELL, NO.!!
Two needle-wielding sadists I do not need. Especially when he has the potential to be just as joyously happy about the prospect of shoving damned great big needles in me as Dr. Too Damned Perky here. One very uncomfortable injection later and he says “Oh, there’s blood.” No shit Sherlock.! You just harpooned me, what were you expecting… honey.? Still with that grin on his face, the comedian gets a tissue and starts wiping up blood from below my shoulder blade… BELOW my shoulder blade.!
That’s a lot of blood. And it was. The tissue was half red. So he decides to get a plaster. Good of him, really. I expected him to just let me bleed. He seemed to like the view. He tells me not to lift for the next 48 hours. Me. Lift. Hahahahahaha.! 😀
I haven’t lifted in… ever.! He says that if the injection doesn’t work to come back. In a few weeks. To see what we can do next. What he means is, he’ll just harpoon me again, and again, and again until he’s not allowed to any more, then he’ll send me to the hospital for their sadistic bastards to harpoon me with bigger needles… just like he did last time.! I’m changing doctors.
Dear Diary... 
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